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Catch Your Super Hero Dreams

I’m probably not alone when I say I’m guilty of letting my self-belief falter occasionally, letting self-doubt creep in, and then in the night what happens? These huge obstacles rear up like a big black monster blocking our way, leaving us with a waking feeling of negativity and impending pessimism!

Instead we should be working on positive feelings morning, noon and night to keep our motivation motor running!

But somehow, the motivation motor slows down and those night-time obstacles become more real preventing us from finding our motivation pedal! Our dreams which were caught up in our dream catchers seem to have gotten up and gone in the night! Why is this?

I was reminded of a song I heard on the radio the other day by M People from 1995 – ‘Search for the Hero Inside Yourself’, and particularly the chorus which goes:

“You’ve got to search for the hero inside yourself,
Search for the secrets you hide.
Search for the hero inside yourself
Until you find the key to your life”.

We can and should always be searching for the hero inside ourselves to find the key to our lives! If we don’t, no-one else will! We should be holding on to them and keeping them in our dream-catchers to ensure we never forget that our dreams can be realised, we only have to want them and believe in them enough to make them happen.

Your super hero dreams can come true if you:

  • Aim as high as you can – the sky is the limit
  • Find your inner strength and self-belief to remove self-doubt
  • Keep that motivation motor running to stop the obstacle monster
  • Remember to imagine you have realised your dream so you can feel it
  • Build strong mental bridges across those negative blocks
  • Light your inner flame to burn bright and keep it lit to show you the way
  • You have the hidden treasure inside yourself to know you are a super hero AND realise your own super hero dreams
  • All you need to do is just go do it!

If Only I Had Longer Legs!

If Only I Had Longer Legs!

  • If only I had more money!
  • If only I felt more positive!
  • If only I was more successful!
  • If only I could achieve my potential!
  • If only I could achieve my goals!

Are you guilty of being stuck in ‘if only’ conundrum?

Whom do you blame? Others? Yourself?

If you’re blaming others, then you’ll never overcome obstacles preventing you from accomplishing what you want.

If you’re blaming yourself, perhaps you’re stuck in a rut, with diminishing self-belief, the result of which means you won’t achieve what your goals.

I was reminded of this at the weekend when climbing Purple Peak. The tramp started off steeply downhill before a steady steep climb uphill! The view of Purple Peak was breath-taking, but my stamina was seeping, my faith in my ability futile. I felt like giving up, but couldn’t as I was walking with friends and didn’t want to let them down.

Had I bitten off more than I could chew? I looked back at how little I had trained over the last month or so due to personal circumstances, and now was paying the price! Something, that only a month ago I would have managed no problem now seemed too difficult.

I repeatedly told myself, if only I had walked every day my legs would have been stronger, if only I’d gone to the gym every day I would have more stamina, if only…

I realised how unhelpful focusing on if only’s was, and instead focused on dealing with the task in hand – putting one foot in front of the other, taking one step at a time, walking in the right direction towards my goal – the Purple Peak! I was tempted to look down and not ‘see’ the climb ahead, but instead kept my head up and kept my eye on my destination.

The lesson I learned was to let go of the ‘if only’s’ and do what I need and want to do and just go do it! Focusing on the task in hand and removing those perceived obstacles that prevent us from reaching our goals.

let it go

Letting Go…

Do you find that you create road blocks in your life?

As humans, our behaviour forms patterns, good and bad, creating good and bad habits; it’s the bad habits we want to lose, creating new good habits.

We are wired to sway towards the negative rather than the positive, looking at the problem rather than the solution, putting roadblocks in our way, worst of all not letting go of things that worry us.

What are these road blocks we often create in our minds that seem so insurmountable we let them build up, making it difficult to function properly?

When the going gets tough, what do we do? Our self-belief decreases, self-doubt increases, we distrust our own abilities, allowing road blocks to grow so big we are unable to function properly.

The definition of roadblock is a “temporary installation set up to control or block traffic along a road”, yet we often use this word, referring to it as permanent!

How do we let go of roadblocks and see them as a temporary installation and give them a completion date?

In the words of the Billy Ocean song, “When the going gets tough the tough get going”, we need to do as our mothers told us! Get back up, shake ourselves down and let go of what’s happened and move on.

This is easier said than done, perhaps you are one of those people who find it hard letting go of things?

Here’s 4 tips on letting go to help move forward positively:

  1. Make an active decision to let it go; mentally break down the roadblock giving it a completion date
  2. Own the situation, realising that this is a stepping stone, and metaphorically step over the roadblock
  3. Take ownership of the part we played in the situation; this is the first step in moving forward
  4. Once realising this is a temporary situation, make an active decision to fix the problem and then let it go, putting it behind us, looking forward, realising none of us are perfect, and we all make mistakes

So deal with those road blocks, step over them and let it go..

Life is SO Complicated!

Life is SO Complicated!

I was reminded of the Kinks song – ‘Life is So Complicated’ whilst thinking about this month’s theme of Removing Obstacles.

What do we think of when we think about obstacles other than those things or blocks that prevent or hinder us from our own personal or professional progress?

Some of us may refer to obstacles as problems or difficulties that are a hindrance or barrier to getting things done, putting hurdles or obstructions in our way creating a blockage or stumbling block thus creating an obstruction preventing us achieving what we want in our personal or professional lives.

How easy is it for us to remove those obstacles and stop our lives from being SO complicated?

I believe we can overcome anything we want to. I recall as a child often saying, “I can’t do this”; my mum’s reply was “There is NO such word as can’t!” Whilst I didn’t appreciate it at the time she was right –  the word ‘can’t’ is in our mind created ONLY by us!

Obstacles are often created by us and in some cases caused by us, and if this is the case, then surely, we can reduce, remove or work around them.

After all anything is possible if we only try. We can do this by visualising what we want in our day, week, month or year, and imaging we already have accomplished what we want, enjoying that ‘good feel factor’ we have when we’ve achieved something.

Let’s uncomplicate our lives, cutting out the struggle and strife, alleviating those ‘things’ that get in our way!

Consider using this stepping stones:

  1. Outcome: Imagine it’s the end of a highly successful and profitable year
  2. Steps: Consider the steps you needed to take to achieve this outcome
  3. Obstacles: Reflect on any difficulties you had along the way
  4. Overcome: Think about how you overcame these and what you did

By working backwards from a successful point of having achieved, we can more easily see how those roadblocks can be overcome and in doing so can uncomplicate what we can currently see as a complicated life!

Where There’s a Will There’s a Way

Where There’s A Will There’s a Way

Do any of the following statements ring any bells for you?

1.   When a problem is on my mind I can’t sleep

2.   I worry about things all the time

3.   I feel bad when I don’t get done all the things I had on my daily list

4.   I worry about not being good enough

Worry = concern / fear / apprehension / anxiety

Worrying is probably one of the, if not the biggest time waster.

Worrying drains us of energy, motivation, confidence and abilities.

We end up having this argument with ourselves – on the one hand we have the willpower to get these things done, but our imagination completely takes over and not only leads the way but wins!

Positive thinking articles and self-help books are plentiful, and yet clients tell me one constant is worry..

Worrying won’t make the problem go away or remove the situation you are in. However, sorting the problem or situation can and will change the outcome.

Just because our mind can’t see a way out, or find a solution, it doesn’t mean there isn’t one, it just means we haven’t realised it yet.

If you ask people who are in dire straits, they will often say it’s during those bad times they come up with their best ideas, the solution to their problem.

You will have heard of the saying ‘where there is a will there is a way’ – and the meaning of this as quoted in the Oxford Dictionary means if you are determined enough, you can find a way to achieve what you want, even if it is very difficult.

If loss of job or finances is the problem, start tackling the problem immediately, without delay and look to see how the situation can be re-arranged to fit the new and changed situation.

By doing something about the situation, the ‘night-time worry-head’ that can appear when we go to bed can be hugely decreased as we can tell ourselves we have a plan, a solution to the problem, there is a way out of the position we are in – a plan is underway.

Bringing Value and Balance into your Life!

Bringing Value and Balance into your Life!

We talk about work / life balance, bringing positivity to our lives instead of looking at what defines us as a person, what makes us tick, what makes us value ourselves as a person.

We all have values and these change during our lifetime. This could be due to a change of job, career or circumstances. Our values define what is important to us in our everyday lives. But do we know and understand what our values are, and can they help us feel more positive about what we do and why we do it? For most of us we have different values for each aspect of our lives, professional and personal, and so need to determine what these are and how they describe us.

Would you agree that values are important as they help define what we think, what we say and what we do?

To help you identify and define what your values are, follow these 6 steps:

  1. Think about the events that have taken place in your life that have led you or driven your behaviour on a personal or professional level
  2. Think about what has given you a purpose in your work or personal life that has been meaningful to you
  3. Write down those values which come to mind that resonate with you particularly around what you feel you stand for and reflects you as an individual
  4. Start putting these into priority order depending on their significance to you
  5. Think about why these are important to you and how they can improve your self-belief
  6. Start integrating these into your everyday lives creating new and positive habits

Bring contentment and a sense of balance into your life, follow your passion; give yourself a purpose so you can live in the present and feel more positive about the future.

As Mahatma Gandhi says:

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”

Give Yourself a Grateful Kiss!

Give Yourself a Grateful Kiss!

Sometimes things happen in our lives that turn us inside out and back to front, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job or our health, but somewhere most of us find the strength to mentally get back up, dust ourselves off and manage to keep going, other times we feel we just can’t get up again, and why should we as we will just get knocked down again.

Have you ever had this feeling? Have you ever felt this way? What did you do? What can you do?

As children, our mothers gave us that special hug that ‘makes everything better’ or a kiss on our ‘hurt bit’ that makes the pain go away. As adults, this doesn’t work as we realise that wasn’t real.

How can we bring back positive thinking? How can we re-ignite our motivation? How can we give ourselves that ‘magic hug’ or ‘special kiss’?

There are ways in which we can help ourselves. Here are a few things that you might want to try.

  1. List things you are grateful for

The act of writing these down is therapeutic, forcing our minds to think of those positive things in our lives for a short while. For example, losing a loved one leaves a hole in our lives and a void which we feel we will never retrieve, but one thing we can be grateful for are the wonderful memories of that person and the positive impact they made in our lives. We might even think of those strengths that person passed on to us which we value and can put to good use.

  1. List why you are grateful for these things

This list now gets us thinking on a deeper level, because now we are forcing and encouraging ourselves to really dig deep down in our hearts and consider the ‘why’. For example, someone losing a loved one due to some terrible condition may go on to raise awareness to others which may in turn save someone else’s life would be a ‘why’.

We need to bring ‘grateful’ back into our lives and keep it there and using these lists can help us do that.


When Even The Snow Looks Black!

When Even The Snow Looks Black!

When we think of positive thinking, what do we think about?

Stopping negative thinking; starting positive thinking! Black vs White! Supposedly easy, but easier said than done!

We know that positive thinking is beneficial to us mentally and emotionally, but to enable us to even start thinking positively, surely it will help us if we consider the consequences of negativity, and how negative thinking desperately impacts our lives and wellbeing!

When we can’t feel positive, we know we focus on negative things which becomes a downwards spiral – a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So how can we kick-start positive thinking and banish negative thinking? Here are 5 easy steps on changing the negative to a positive to give you real results.

  1. List the things that create negativity in your life, work or business – in doing this it will help you to identify what your perceived obstacles or roadblocks are e.g. lack of energy or lack of motivation
  2. Note all the negative words you have used in the list above, changing the negative wording to positive wording – this will help you to change the way you focus on things
  3. List actions that could neutralise those things on your negative list – these are usually small steps you will need to take to work towards creating positive outcomes
  4. Note how you will feel if you complete those positive actions, the emotional benefit – write down all those good-feel emotional words that bring positive energy towards you
  5. Write down the reward you will give yourself upon achieving each positive action – choose a great prize, giving yourself well-deserved recompense to instill motivation

An example below:

  1. Feeling I can’t achieve my goals
  2. CAN’T – change to CAN
  3. If my goals are broken down into small steps it will feel more manageable
  4. Achieving my goals and believing in myself will make me feel stronger and give me more confidence in myself to achieve more
  5. Treating myself to a nice glass of wine or taking time out for a hobby e.g. game of golf, or even just finishing early for the day

Frame Your Work!

Frame Your Work!

Have you ever thought that things we can think of a strength are often a weakness? Take being a multi-tasker for example, we call it juggling many balls in the air. However, this is a great strength to have if being a finisher is also part of that strength. What is the point of having all these great ideas, jobs or tasks on the go at the same time if we don’t finish them, and worse still if we don’t finish them on time.

We are all busy people, whether working for an employer or ourselves, but being able to sustain this over long periods isn’t healthy or productive.

Here are some 6 tips on how to become more productive, creating new and effortless habits.

  1. Prioritise and group what you do

Many of the tasks we do are similar or routine. Improve your work-flow by grouping these together and prioritising them.

  1. Focus on the detail

There is a time for big picture thinking and a time for small picture thinking. To be a finisher we must limit one and focus on the other.

  1. Concentrate on what you can do

To enable us to keep focused we must concentrate on the job in hand and do it and not be tempted to think about blue sky ideas.

  1. Develop a routine

Many people shy away from this word and see it as being dull, monotonous, boring, but it is the complete opposite. A routine helps us keep to task, finish the job and feel we have been productive

  1. Determine your place

In this high technology world where we can be reached 24/7 with numerous devices, we become tempted to react and respond. Having a work place – a work time – a work space will give us ‘permission’ only to work in that place, space or time

  1. Being a perfectionist

Guilty as charged! However, spending too much time on details can be a time-waster taking our focus away – be realistic rather than pedantic.

Pilot or Passenger?

Pilot or Passenger?

I’m sure like me there are some days when you wish you were the pilot and other days the passenger.

I’m not talking about taking a trip on a plane to some exotic faraway place for some respite to get away from it all, although I’m sure that’s often on your minds! Instead I’m talking about those days when we wish we could sit back and let life just go by instead of having to be in control of our lives to manage our time as best we can.

I often reflect on what we say about how fast holidays go and yet the week at ‘work’ can sometimes drag – well why is this? The time is the same whether it’s a week day or a weekend, a holiday or a work day. It’s no surprise to us that time can be our master or our slave, we can manage it or let it manage us.

Where would you rather be and what would you rather do? Be the pilot and be in control of managing your time, or be the passenger and let time whiz past us like the clouds?

As the quote by Michael Attshuler says, “The bad news is time flies – the good news is you’re the pilot”.

Here are 3 questions to ask yourself:

  1. Do you procrastinate?
  2. Are you often ‘chasing your tail’?
  3. Do you often set unrealistic deadlines?

 Here are 5 tips to getting to grips with being the pilot rather than the passenger:

  1. Move from being a ‘yes’ person to a ‘no’ person by thinking before you say ‘yes’ and learning to say a positive ‘no’
  2. Deal with your own priorities rather than reacting to other people’s seemingly ‘urgent’ demands
  3. Do those tasks you hate the most first thing in the morning and those you like the most the last thing in the day
  4. Give yourself a ‘treat’ every day to reward yourself for a job well done, rather than beating yourself up for unfinished business
  5. Plan to be organised by using positive self-talk to keep yourself upbeat and focused