As we work through the beginning of the year, I thought it would be good to talk about clarifying what we can control and what we can’t.
What’s the saying? “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
Let’s look at what is out of our control for a minute.
The past and the future – all we can be in control of is our present. What’s gone has gone and whilst we can plan for our future in the present, we can’t control the future.
Actions and opinions of others – we can spend so much time trying to manage situations with others and when bad feeling, conflict, misunderstandings or upset occur, we can try so hard to control this often without success, which can affect our wellbeing.
What others think of us – of course we all want to be liked, but we can’t be liked by everyone, the same as we don’t necessarily always like everyone we meet and know. So worrying about what others think is really unhelpful and a waste of energy.
How others take care of themselves – we all want to help and will often do our best to go out of our way to help others, but, if they don’t want to be helped, we need to let this go. Others can and will take care of themselves all by themselves and will reach out to you again if you have already made that offer in the first place.
What are we in control of then?
Thoughts and actions – wouldn’t it be great if all our thoughts magically turned to actions? But they don’t, but if we write our thoughts down and aim to put them into actions then at least that’s a start, isn’t it?
Developing Goals – if we are acting on our thoughts and making actions then of course these become goals of which we can achieve if we really put our mind to it; it’s around keeping positive and ensuring our goals are SMART
Managing changes – with any goals that are set we need to manage the bumps in the road, the changes that will occur possibly throwing us into a different direction or even causing a distraction, so we need to manage these and to expect them, so they aren’t a total surprise
Channeling our Energy – all of the above takes energy so we need to be mindful of focusing our energy and channeling this into something positive, constructive and helpful for us to get to where we want to get to
What you tell yourself – and none of the above will happen if we feed ourselves with negative messages, but this is invariably what happens. So, consider what personal positive affirmations you can develop to help you feed yourself with thoughts that will help you keep on the right track and start new thoughts and actions
Pride, Passion & Purpose – if we do all the above, have pride in what we do and keep the passion of what we want to do alive, then we will have a purpose that will keep us motivated to achieve the things we want to achieve
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