This week I wanted to talk about the words we use and how words, especially self-talk, affects how we come across to others and feel about the world. Isn’t it true that as humans we often beat ourselves up verbally? We might make a mistake, and all we can do is to keep playing that mistake over and over again. Negative self-talk like this is very harmful and detrimental to our health and wellbeing. Purposeful and planned self-reflection or self-appraisal is a helpful and productive thing to help keep the negative self-talk at bay, as this is self-sabotage and self-destructive. Trying to stop negative self-talk may feel impossible, however, with the right strategies in place we can turn this around and flip it on its head and start focusing on the positive self-talk. Here are some tips to follow: Reframing – Changing our habits, playing a new record with different
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I recently came across a poem from Mind Journal which inspired me to write this week’s blog to share with you. It reads as follows: Marriage is hard, Divorce is hard Choose your hard. Obesity is hard. Fit is hard. Choose your hard. Being in debt is hard. Being financially disciplined is hard.Choose your hard. Communication is hard. Not to communicate is hard. Choose your hard. Life will never be easy. It will always be hard. But we can choose our hard. Choose wisely The Mind Journal What’s the underlying message with this poem? For me, it’s choices. Noting is easy, sometimes it feels like everything is hard, often just too hard, but we all have choices. We need to make the hardest choices sometimes to make things easier for us to do so. This way we are more likely to achieve what we want rather than just saying ‘it’s
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“Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path.” Paulo Coelho I came upon this quote recently which inspired me to write this week’s blog to share with you, as it got me thinking that sometimes the smallest things make the biggest difference, and sometimes the biggest things make the smallest difference. Whether it’s a storm or a shower, we have to weather the weather and ensure we have the right clothing, protection and strength to manage what’s to come. Often, we don’t know how long the storm is going to last, and if caught unawares, which we often are with the weather, then we can get wet, sometimes very wet. Getting wet, may be a good thing because it brings us back to reality, makes us consider or reconsider our path and direction to reach our anticipated outcome. It makes us stop and think,
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We have heard and use the term ‘we must listen to our bodies’ so much and more so when we are talking to others rather than listening to ourselves. A couple of weeks ago, I shared my ‘health scare’ with you. This journey along with listening and talking to others has inspired me to write today’s blog. I had a goal to walk the Tongariro Crossing with my walking group over the Canterbury Anniversary weekend. Despite my ‘health event’ I was still determined to do it! I’d been training for ages, that’s all our group was talking about AND it was our third attempt to do it. Of course I was still going to do it. Bearing in mind the weekend trip was more than just the crossing, involved others and was only three weeks after the ‘health event’. I was driven and kept my goal in my sights and
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As a business coach and mentor I’m often asked about exit strategies, end result, anticipated outcome or visions / goals for the dream. The reason for this is that we need to consider what our dream looks like and have this as clear as possible in our mind. Having a strategy or plan to start to build something is imperative, however, so is having a plan to sustain or grow, and to exit when the time is right. Can we plan our strategy to start and our exit strategy at the same time? Yes, we can, we almost have to because we need to see what the ‘after’ looks like for us, otherwise our journey may have been in vain. Having short, medium and long-term goals is a great place to start, this way we can identify exactly where to start and where to finish. The gap in between is
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This week I thought I’d talk about my own recent personal experience and some takeaways which I thought might be useful to share with you. I’ve called this week’s blog ‘when the world starts spinning’ because that’s exactly what happened to me a couple of weeks ago. Image this: One minute your strolling along having a pleasant walk in the countryside on a warm sunny day when all of a sudden and out of the blue the world starts spinning. And I mean really spinning, without stopping, without warning! This is what happened to me; a significant vertigo event which I later had confirmed as being an inflammation of the inner ear and nerves to the brain. Since then, the feeling of permanently being on a small boat which is listing dangerously in the roughest ocean is how it feels and what the world looks like. When significant health issues
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GOAL REALITY OPTIONS WAY FORWARD There are some of us who find it real easy to set goals, write them down, keep them front of mind and achieve them. For others, this is not so easy, with goals being in their head, forgotten and not achieved. And a few who never set goals because they know they won’t achieve, so why bother. Whichever category you are in, you may consider instead focusing on GROWing rather than goals specifically. To grow we do need a goal, but before we determine our goal we need to clarify what we want and what that will give us. What’s exciting about it and really important to us. It’s about imagining us having achieved or succeeded, and really getting into the feeling of being there at the ‘end’. Create the picture, image or vision in your head. Once we do this we engage our emotions
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For those who have experienced burnout at some point in their lives or career, this won’t be too unfamiliar to you. For those who haven’t, you may find that understanding how burnout comes about and identifying the symptoms and behaviours might be helpful not only for yourself but for your friends, colleagues or maybe family who may be heading towards this without realising it. Burnout, despite what some may think, doesn’t just happen – it’s a process! Often once burnout has hit, and we’ve recovered we can look back and realise there were signs, symptoms, people noticed and said something, others were telling us to slow down or stop doing too much, but the power of hindsight, eh? There are various schools of thought about the stages, how many, how long they might last, and whether people experience all the symptoms or not. Either way, having a better understanding and
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Simon Sinek says: “Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress; working hard for something we love is called passion.” We talk about good stress and bad stress, but what’s the difference and how do we know which is which? It’s believed that good stress is a ‘short-term’ thing, which inspires and motivates you, focuses your energy and enhances performance; whereas bad stress, is the type that wears you out, leaves you nervous and can harm your health. Bad stress, or distress, can then lead to anxiety, confusion, poor concentration and decreased performance. We usually feel passion when it’s something we’re interested in. For example, we can have a passion for a sport, hobby, or an activity. When we feel passion towards our job, work, business or occupation, this is usually because we have a positive emotion towards it. If we have a purpose, and that purpose
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You've likely walked past your kitchen bench and seen near-rotten bananas and thought to yourself, oh, I'll make a smoothie tomorrow with those. Then the next day you see the same bananas and think, guess it's time to make banana bread! On the third day, the bananas are collecting flies, and there's not a smoothie or banana bread in sight. We do the same thing in our businesses, often without even noticing. We set unachievable goals, with high expectations of ourselves, setting ourselves up to fail, instead of SMART goals that relate to our personal and professional goals. We write To-Do lists galore, never working through them, always putting them off to the next day; the list just grows and grows making us feel more and more overwhelmed. We have loads of ideas that pop into our heads at all sorts of the day and night, that constantly sit at
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