Facing Old Issues with New Insights

Are you a creature of habit? Are your habits good or bad? Do you keep approaching things in the same way expecting a different outcome? We can talk about positive thinking and positive self-talk until the cows come home but the reality is, for most, it appears easier said than done. We often develop habits that are not helpful and when bad or negative experiences happen in our lives they become bigger and turn into an issue! This issue is something we don’t want to face because we fear it, feel dealing with it hasn’t worked in the past, or perhaps we’ve just buried our heads in the sand hoping it will go away! The trouble is, issues don’t go away and won’t change until we approach them differently. Let’s look at how we can all make positive changes in our lives, either personally or professionally. Think about an old

Is your worry as painful as toothache?

I was reminded of this when I had a tooth infection resulting in one of the worst pains anyone can experience – toothache! For those of you who have experienced this you will know what I’m talking about. During this constant, nagging, throbbing pain, I tried SO hard to focus on something other than the pain, but it was impossible! I was paralysed with pain, focusing on that one thing, almost unable to think about anything else, let alone do anything else, only wanting to go into a quiet room and feel sorry for myself. And in a way, that’s what I did, but only for a short while. I realised hiding away, doing nothing, and focusing on the pain wasn’t going to make it any better. I drew upon my coaching skills to think positively and practically about how I could help my situation. I started planning my day.

What was I thinking?

I recently climbed Mount Culverden. Whilst this mountain isn’t the biggest I’ve climbed at 586m, nor the hardest, it was my self-talking I wanted to share with you! The initial climb was moderate and continuous, and very slippery underfoot. My focus was looking down where I was walking, frequently looking ahead and upwards where I was heading. When we reached the summit of the first peak, 100m from the highest point of Mount Culverden, I looked towards our destination and saw the task that lay ahead! It began with a rock face we had to climb down first, before climbing the three peaks you can see in the photo before reaching our destination! My first thought was how far away the summit was, with slight trepidation seeing three peaks we had to climb before reaching Mount Culverden summit, which in fact was only 100m higher than where we stood! What

Just Find the Entrance Door and go Through It!

"If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning." Mahatma Gandhi This quote made me realise that there are times when I know when I feel I can really achieve something I can do it, but sometimes when my positive self-talking has abandoned me, I feel my confidence waning, or feel overwhelmed at the thought of just getting started. I remember when I started my MBA. I felt scared, apprehensive and that I had been an idiot to even think that I could even consider studying at that level. I felt everyone else in the room was much more able than I was. I doubted myself and my abilities, and was daunted at the prospect of the huge challenges ahead. I had to believe that I could do it, and

Making Your Own Magic!

Pull yourself together! What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! Just move on and get over it! I’m sure you’ve heard all these expressions before and perhaps even had these said to you! I know I have! I want to focus on the importance of positive self-talking and how using this technique can, will and does help. We all go through periods of time when we doubt our abilities and question our judgement often telling ourselves we can’t do this or handle that. I have found that when I do things that are new to me and outside my comfort zone then the doubts creep in which start changing my persona from a confident person to a person with self-doubt and self-belief. What happens to our thinking to make us start to feel so negative and overwhelmed? Well apart from the physical symptoms that we can all feel when we

Scary Monsters

“When you’re little, night time is scary because there are monsters hiding right under the bed. When you get older, the monsters are different – self-doubt loneliness, regret – and though you may be older and wiser, you still find yourself scared of the dark.” Meredith Grey from Grey’s Anatomy A great metaphor to highlight those feelings we can have of depression, anxiety which diminishes our self-belief. Many things can trigger fears within us, and these fears can appear as scary monsters, feeling real, particularly when we feel disempowered or unwell. Often, we can’t pinpoint what’s wrong, we only know that something isn’t right – we want our ‘mojo’ back. There are more people than we think suffering from scary monsters. If it’s something we have experienced before, and I have, we can recognise the symptoms and hopefully seek help to help us get through the bad times. If it’s

When it all starts going wrong…

Empower Yourself
With the best will in the world sometimes it just happens! Our confidence disappears – the tears start – that wonderful positive vibe that gave us that proverbial ‘spring in our step’ just lost its spring! So, what happened? And why has this happened again? And to me? It’s not fair… Does this ‘ring any bells’ for you? Have you been there? I certainly have.. Our good intentions and self-belief just flew out of the window for fear of never being seen again! But how do we get it back? And what is IT? When all seems lost and it seems there is nothing but one problem after the other, especially when the physical symptoms start invading our bodies. We put on our ‘game face’ to enable us to do our jobs. However, we may try this for a while before things start spiralling out of control. The good days

What is the secret of self-empowerment?

The general meaning of Self-empowerment is taking control of our own life, setting goals, and making positive choices. It can also mean our ability to overcome our sense of powerlessness and lack of influence and to recognise and use our resources. Often people will say they don’t feel one of the team; instead feeling an outsider. This feeling of not being included or feeling excluded and not ‘one of the guys’ can be a debilitating experience and a lonely place to be. Feeling lonely or left out, looking at other people having things that you feel you don’t have, can make you feel you have something missing in your life, and of course this can hold you back, and give you a feeling of disempowerment. Do you need to empower yourself but can’t? Here are 7 tips which I would like to share with you to give you some ideas

The Chicken or The Egg – What Came First?

I’ve often wondered about what came first – the chicken or the egg! But I’m not talking about chickens or eggs but confidence and empowerment! Most of us can probably relate to feeling more confident as we get older, and yet in some circumstances we start to lose confidence the older we get! This made me wonder what came first, and is it different for us all. Does self-empowerment build confidence or does having confidence make us self-empowered? I feel both confidence and self-empowerment go hand in hand. If we really think about what self-empowerment means, we would realise that part of feeling self-empowered is having confidence in ourselves, having self-belief, being able to feel we can tackle those challenges. Many underestimate, undervalue or are unaware of their abilities. This can be due to some not being aware of, or not understanding or valuing their own strengths and weaknesses, and

7 Steps to Manage the Journey of Change

“The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable” – John F Kennedy - Why don’t we want to make that journey of change? - Why can’t we trust that the journey will be exciting instead of fearful? - Why are we so scared of the unknown? If we really understood our resistance to change then we could do something about it, but unfortunately for some of us, we don’t even want to think about it, let alone do anything about it! For us to welcome change we need to change ourselves. Everything is changing so fast, moving forward at an ever-increasing speed, and we also know we are unable to do anything about it! 7 Steps on how to manage the change journey: 1.   Imagine change being a journey with a long and winding road 2.   Imagine yourself in the driver’s seat with your GPS in front